Monday, July 1, 2013

These Days

These days....
It's hot. I'm more thankful for air conditioning than I thought possible.

I'd rather not put on clothing, this bump is getting out of control and nothing is comfortable.

I need a daily reminder that my hips will go back to normal size, and that stretch marks do fade.

I'm feeling the need to nest. Yesterday I practically rearranged half of our house. It was necessary but a little overkill for one day.
Just a little sneak peak of part of the transformation...

I'm feeling withdrawn. I feel like I've been on overload and I just want to run away for a little while.

I need to connect. Mostly with Jesus. I rely too much on myself and forget how much I desperately need grace in order to do anything right. 

I need to stop stressing. About where were going to settle, how we're going to parent, how we're going to provide, how we're going to....survive.

I'm feeling tired. I think I already told you I need a vacation, but I'll go ahead and mention that again.

I need to appreciate my husband more. I take for granted all that he does, and need to remember that pregnancy is not a free ride to be a lazy slop of a wife.

I need to remember Gods promises.
That He is always good.
 He is always in control.
 His love and grace are never ending.
His power is greater than my fears and failures.

Life is only found in Him.

And as I waste my time in worry, doubt, and endless need for control...He says:

Child, stop it would ya? I've got this all figured out. In fact, I did before you even got here, before anyone ever got here. I love you. I love that baby boy inside you, remember the one that I purposed without your plan? Have you forgotten that I'm the provider? The bank-filler, the house finder, the job giver, the plan smasher, the only source of joy you've got.

And things go momentarily back into perspective, until my sin messes it up again.

So, I will hold onto this truth as long as I can remember. And when it fades, I'll repeat it all over again.

Because Your steadfast love is greater than life, my lips will praise You. Psalm 63:3

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