Love & Respect

My world has been rocked in the last few days.

Not from a song.
Or a news story.
Or a new outfit (let's be honest, sometimes new outfits have that power)

But a book.

Now, I promise I'm not usually the type to be "changed" by a book.  I normally read things with a grain of salt, especially if they are promising me something. "30 days to a better marriage", "25 days to your dream body"...bla bla bla.

But I picked this particular book up not out of new curiosity, but out of years of mulling over an idea I read in another book in college.

Did I just really confuse you?

Ok well the other book is called "For women only, what you need to know about the inner lives of men". The first chapter is about respect, and yesterday morning after a sleepless night I felt compelled to pick it up and read it again.  Now, the first chapter mentions said life changing book 3 or 4 times, which sparked my curiosity.

So I did what I do best and googled this other book.

And suddenly a revelation.

I had passed and picked up this book multiple times before, but decided that it wasn't my time to read it.

Well, now it was time. 

I found a comfy spot in the B&N cafe and started reading. And while there was conviction and revelation about some of the ugly stuff in my heart towards my husband (it was stuff that has been there for a long time, not just two weeks), there was a TON of hope. So much hope I got through the first half of the book in one sitting.

It talks about the age old struggle between men and women and how they communicate. Women aren't getting enough love and men aren't getting enough...you heard it, respect.  What surprised me most is that most men can't articulate their need for respect, but once they heard this idea they suddenly said "yes, that's exactly what it is". It talks about how men shut down during arguments because of how disrespected they feel, but that women don't even know they're disrespecting their men! The hardest part is that most of the disrespect and unloving behavior that goes on between men and women is unintentional, because men and women perceive actions and words through completely different lenses and hearing aids.

If women expect unconditional love from their husbands, then husbands have the same right to expect unconditional respect from their wives.

That hit me like a ton of bricks. That takes my ugly, it's all about me attitude and sin and throws it out the window.

Basically, if you are married or in a serious relationship I HIGHLY suggest this book. I might bug you about it until you read it.

Next on my reading list is Mark & Grace Driscoll's "Real Marriage" -- I'm already anticipating a huge smack in the face from that one, so I'll let you know when we get there :)

Monday Morning Virtual Coffee Date

Good morning blog friends. It's a little foggy and dark down here in garlic land am I'm contemplating what to do with my day.

Maybe yoga?

Maybe gym?

Definitely cleaning, again.

Definitely grocery shopping.

Maybe some organizing.

The options are endless while I'm unemployed.

If we were out for a real time coffee date I would tell you about the huge transition my life seems to be in.

Newly married.

New town.

No local friends.

No job.

No church home, yet.

I would tell you about the countless jobs I've applied to in the past week, and how I'm trying not to sell myself short by applying at a job someone right out of high school could get. I would tell you that I'm not being patient, you see I'm not very good at this patience thing. I would tell you about my goal at the end of the week to have at least one interview. I would tell you that Seth and I are praying for direction for a job for me, but that I'm still not great at being patient, so to pray for that too.

I would tell you that going into event-planning is sounding really appealing right now. But maybe that's the wedding planning stuff still lingering. I would express my excitement after all of the positive feedback we got from our wedding, I had so many people tell me that I could plan weddings professionally, I just wish it wasn't such a hard industry to get in to.

I would tell you that current life seems to be dream-like. I keep waking up next to Seth and thinking we are on vacation, or that somehow this isn't all real. I would ask if it was the same for you when you got married. But then I would explain how waking up next to Seth every morning feels right, and that marriage is a great blessing that God has given us.

I would tell you that cooking has been interesting, especially when meal-planning and grocery shopping is totally foreign to me.  I would tell you of Seth's graciousness, or maybe his lack of pickiness. Last night he told me that dinner tasted like I'd been cooking for 50 years, I wonder if our dinner guests would say the same thing.

Speaking of dinner guests, I would ask if you wanted to come down to Gilroy for the evening.  We provide dinner, wine, games, and maybe hookah if you're interested.  We like having people over, we like entertaining...I think this will be a trend for our family. Speaking of family, I would ask why as soon as you're married people start asking about kids. I've been asked at least 4 times when we're going to start having kids!

I would tell you about the church we have now visited twice. It's in North San Jose, and it takes about 30 mins to get there from our place. Every time we mention that we live in Gilroy, people practically shriek and ask if it's too far for us to come. If I'm being honest, it doesn't make me feel great when people ask that so we are going to try another Acts 29 church soon that's closer to us. I would tell you that once we find a church home, I will feel more at home, and that the puzzle of our busy life will feel more complete.

There's a chance that you would ask about Seth and school, I would smile and tell you that he is really enjoying it.  Not only is he enjoying it, but he is excelling at it too! I might express my worry about the job market for A&P mechanics for when he is done, and that I constantly need to be reminded of God's sovereignty over that.  There's a lot of "What-If's" in our life right now, I would ask you to join me in prayer about the huge "What-If's".

You might ask about my Etsy shop and handmade crafty business. I would tell you that I have some ideas brewing, but until I have a job situation figured out I don't want to make any moves. I would tell you about our huge closet full of all the stuff that we don't have room for, and that includes crafts. But then I would tell you about how excited I am to get our wedding pictures back so I can start scrapbooking. Because, you can ALWAYS make time for scrapbooking your wedding!

After all of that information, you might be a little sick of me talking so I might let you update me on your life. I enjoy listening to other peoples life stories, I don't ever compare them to my own but smile at the complexity of everyone's story and the variety of it all.  I would encourage you to be totally present wherever you are, to enjoy it all, to drink it all in, and to find some way to record and remember it all.

I would now conclude our date. In this time I have decided to go to yoga, all the wedding stress made my muscles become super tense so I've got to find a way to let it out! I would give you a hug and send you on your way...

Have a great day!

Saturday's Devotion

I loved the devotion from "Jesus Calling" for today so I thought I'd share it with you! If you haven't picked up this little devotional before its sweet and an easy read for those who struggle with finding a devotion that they like!

Rest in me, my child. This time devoted to Me is meant to be peaceful, not stressful. You don't have to perform in order to receive My love. I have boundless, unconditional love for you. How it grieves Me to see My children working for love; trying harder and harder, yet never feeling good enough to be loved.

Be careful that your devotion to Me does not become another form of works. I want you to come into My presence joyfully and confidently. You have nothing to fear, for you wear My own righteousnes. Gaze into My eyes, and you will see no condemnation, only Love and delight in the one I see. Be blessed as My face shines radiantly upon you, giving you peace.

John 15:13; Zephaniah 3:17; Numbers 6:25-26

Have a fantastic weekend!!

Insta-Friday Newlywed Addition

It's been a while since I've participated in Insta-Friday. You see, life was pretty nuts for a while but now I have time to settle back into normal.

As a bride you hear about this absence you feel once the wedding is over, and I find myself feeling so relieved. Especially after all of the positive feedback from our friends and family, I feel at peace with the entire event and so blessed to have gotten the opportunity to get married! God truly provided peace when I needed it most, and we trust that He is continually providing it for us in our newly married life!

Here's a few favorites from the last week (or so):

Em and I bachelorette-ing it up! 

Snuggling with my besties on my bed for the last time...

loved my bride jacket!!

My fancy, beautiful bridesmaids!

No caption needed :)

YAY! we're married!!

And we get to enjoy our grooms cake! It was delicious.

We like being married, a lot.

Just one of our incredible gifts. My childhood babysitter got us these, having not seen me in at least 10 years. She didn't know we were huge Disney fans! How amazing is that!

I hung up our guest book tree from the wedding and I couldn't be happier, it's so cute!

Life is now about job hunting, home organizing, and learning how to cook. Somewhat mundane, but I'm so excited for what this season has to offer!

xo

Linking up with Jeanett from Life Rearranged!

Farewell, Summer.

Word on the street is that summer's over.

Oh really? You should come and live in Gilroy with us, summer's still alive and well down in Garlic land.

Our poor landlord might shriek when he see's the electric bill, sorry dude, the AC stays on all night if you want either of us to sleep!

All of that being said, this summer was one of my favorite summers of all.

I got to fly to the PNW (Pacific Northwest) to surprise Ash at her graduation. 

Mel and I schemed and pulled off a fantastic surprise, it was truly one of my favorite weekends with these girls. 

I flew to Milwaukee to watch my cousin get married!

I was blessed with three amazing showers. 

I celebrated my 22nd birthday.

We celebrated four years of dating.

And finally...

you totally saw this one coming.

We got to celebrate the best day ever. 

ever ever ever ever.

Goodbye, summer.

You sure treated me well.

Mug Swap Recap: Late but Worth the Wait!

I love snail mail.

I love it even more when there is goodies inside, from a mysterious new friend!

I also love mugs.

And I'm lucky enough to know CuppaKim (Kim) in real life and in blog land so I was eagerly anticipating her yearly mug swap blogiversary.

My lovely mug swap partner Amy blew me away with her fun package!! Not only did I get a new mug, I got two new mugs! One modern, bold colored one that I had been eying at Target (of course), and a sweet vintage one that tickles my old soul.  Also included, some awesome notecards, a new bangle, and some tea, emergenC, and sweet tarts. I feel like I hit the mug swap lotto!

Cue squeal as I opened my box!

Vintage mug LOVE. I love the simple lines with the pop of color!

Turquoise and orange big mug love. I love me a mug that fits a heaping amount of coffee, and that's just what this does!

For the love of cute..

Amy, thanks for all of the lovely goodies! I couldn't have asked for a better mug swap partner!!

I love blog swaps, they are so fun to participate in and you make a new friend at the same time. Kim, you should have a blogiversary celebration twice a year...I don't think anyone will mind ;)

And one last one: In addition to drinking from my coffee cup, they are also fashion accessories in which I like to match with. Note, turquoise walls and orange shirt.

Marriage: We Give It Two Thumbs (way) Up

We're back!
And for the first time life isn't crazy and hectic, it's just plain wonderful.

Marriage rocks.
It's hard to explain the complexity of emotions and feelings, but we've been enjoying every minute of it.

We enjoy so much recounting the memories of the wedding. It went by so quickly and we each had different experiences, and every couple hours we say "holy crap, we're married!".

 I love some of the pictures that have been posted too! We are so lucky to live in the time of Instagram and Facebook. To have the tremendous support through these medias has been an incredible blessing to Seth and I.

We can't pick our favorite moment of the whole day, there are just too many. We are overwhelmed and overjoyed and just quite express enough gratitude.

Marriage: We give it two thumbs up.

Also, for those who asked where I got the Disney ears...I ordered them online and Seth had no idea they existed until after the ceremony. It was definitely a top moment of the day surprising him with them :)

xo