Why I Love NOT Camping.

life motto.

Three years ago I hastily agreed to go camping with Seth and his buddies.  This was mostly because we were so attached at the hip that I couldn't manage my birthday weekend without him, but also because I wanted to prove that I could survive a weekend of camping.

I was promised bathrooms, a campsite, and a really easy experience. 

What we got?

If you take the worst camping circumstances you can possibly dream of, and times it by 10, it might come close to describing the awfulness of this traumatic life story you are about to hear.

Might.

Let's put all the pieces together:

1. We got lost on the drive up and 3.5 hours turned into 8 hours of driving.

2. The truck we drove was stiff with no suspension and the ride was bumpier than a 6.0 earthquake.

3. We arrived in the dark, and there were no open camp sites to be found.

4. We had to sleep the first night OUTSIDE, uncovered. (hello, nightmare)

5. When we woke up we discovered that there were still no camp sites, so these crazy kids decide..."lets RAFT out to an ISLAND. I bet there's no one camping there."

6. There was no dirt on the island, just rocks, oh and there weren't any trees either -- which also means no bathrooms or privacy or shade. Hello sunburn.

7. Did I mention I'm terribly phobic of water? Minor detail. These crazies spent the whole weekend cliff jumping while I photographed, I love how Erik looks like he's kicking Seth in this one.

8. It was in the upper 90's all weekend and without shade and a short water supply...

unhappy camper.

9. Did I mention it was my birthday?

I had every right to show my sass

 

10. Half of our food was ruined by explosion of dry ice, this in particular was meant for my birthday breakfast.

11. Our dear friend CJ tore her MCL cliff diving on the first day of our trip.

I do believe this is the jump that tore the knee! 

12. Oh, and when we were trying to leave we discovered the HOLE in the RAFT. What came next was some speedy gum chewing to patch the hole, just to barely make it to shore half sunken with all of our stuff. I was under all of the stuff in the half sunken raft in water that I am terrified to be close to.

One upside: it was super beautiful at night

We like to look back on this weekend and laugh.

I still get patted on the back for being such a trooper, but I was really dying on the inside. 

And that is why I will not go camping ever again for a really really really long time.

I hope this made you laugh, I had fun reliving the experience knowing that my camping experience could only get better from here.

Do you have any camping horror stories?