Miscellany Monday

I like miscellaneous posts, because I don't much else to say these things other than jumbled up thoughts that somehow make up the story of my life right now.

How was your weekend? We went home to see my family, it was my brother's 25th birthday. It would also have been my Grandpa's 92nd birthday the same day. I've been thinking a lot about my grandparents lately. I think about their love for me as their youngest grandchild and how blessed I was to have them in my life. I get sad for 2.5 seconds until I remember where they are. Oh, for that day!

I bought this little gadget a couple weeks ago.

Source: slimmingeats.com via Rachael Kennedy Creative Hairdressing on Pinterest

And I haven't used it yet. I think today I will try it out! I was kind of bummed when it arrived because its from germany, and therefore there are no directions in English, no special recipes....I think I'll have to search the blogs of people that already own one.

That being said, Seth and I have gotten back on a low-carb diet. I feel less gross already. I also stopped craving sugar already! This diet is my favorite of all diets. Despite it's controversial history I totally believe that you can make low-carb a life-style and not just a few month long diet.

Eating on a low calorie diet however, makes me want to rip my hair out.

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Our church had a guest preacher yesterday, a man named Justin Anderson who is soon launching a church in San Francisco called Redemption Church. His message blew me away. Going back through it in my mind makes me realize how though a sermon can have a similar message of one you've heard before, its all about the delivery. I was broken by the end of it, in the very best way possible. Broken over how I have tried to fit Jesus into all of the broken areas of my life and that simply doesn't work because He offers us a NEW life. He also illustrated the danger of preaching a reduced Gospel, when we reduce the Gospel to solely being about the cross, we miss the beginning half of THE story. The story that God has been writing throughout human history and why we needed Jesus to come and redeem it. We miss the beauty of the grand story of Jesus coming to rescue the world, Jesus didn't just come for me, He came to be the answer to the WORLD.

It made me realize that my struggle with dissatisfaction lately might be linked to the endless focus on MY sin. I'm now going to refocus on the larger picture of God coming to redeem the world. That is such an easier message to preach to friends and family who don't know the Lord. I'm beyond excited about what God is doing in me, in us.

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Last monday I decided to go out on a proverbial limb, a big limb for me to even consider. I bought some soil, some pots, and some seeds and decided that I was going to grow some vegetables.

Yep.

In a couple months we will (hopefully) have homegrown zucchini, squash, bell peppers, and onions. I could have done garlic too, but our town produces enough of that already *snort*.

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This is my last week of working full time at my current job. I am thankful to have had this experience, and grateful that they are letting me stay on part time, but beyond thrilled to finally start substitute teaching.

The last few months have been draining, frustrating, and tough -- but full of growth.  I felt stuck in my job because of our financial situation, because of our health insurance situation, because of my experience ( or lack their of). God has opened the door and allowed it all to work out perfectly, isn't it awesome when He does that?!

Last week I stressed about health care after I learned that part time at my job means 32 hours a week -- I mean, come on. That meant that Seth and I would be dropped on March 31st. That also means that we would have to get private health care for both of us -- which they say is easy when you're "young and healthy"....not exactly true. We found out last week though, that my mom will be able to put me back on her health insurance, and for me being the more risky and injury prone spouse we couldn't have been more excited!! Now all I have to do is get insurance for my husband who goes to the doctor once every 5 years. Easy peasy. 

I'm excited for this new chapter. I'm overjoyed that I get to spend more time at home, cooking meals, getting chores done, having a normal sense of life again. Maybe I'll read a book, or do a puzzle, or craft! 

Happy Monday friends!

Word of the Year: Genuine

Ok, I'm two months late on the "word of the year" trend. I'll be honest, at first I thought the idea was kind of silly. But as I've been asked to ponder questions lately like, "where is your life going?" "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" "what are your long term goals?"...I started thinking about setting myself some personal goals. I tend to sell myself short, I have always lacked confidence, so having faith in myself and faith in my goals is new to me. 

But I do not lack hope. The past couple months I have been committing to tuning in to what God is saying. I have been consistent in reading scripture daily for the first time in years. I know that God is doing a lot in my life right now, not that this is new or anything, but I'm finally listening and it feels good. It makes me sad I've taken this long to wake the heck up.

In light of all of that, I want to commit to a simpler idea. And I want that idea to spread like wildfire in my life.

 I've decided to commit to the word:

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1.free from pretense, affectation, or hypocrisy; sincere: 

2.Truly what something is said to be; authentic

3. Or I also like urban dictionaries definition: 

Meaning "genuinely a good kid", someone who doesn't drink or do drugs, etc.

Yo dawg, you wanna go smoke?

Nah man, I'm genuine.

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I want to be genuine to everyone I am in contact with. I want everyone to know the same side of me, no different personalities, no switching sides depending on who my audience is. I want my attitude and actions to present someone who is genuine, who means what they say and who does what they say they're going to do. To actually pray when I say I will, to be the first one to resolve a conflict, to own up to my mistakes and sins, to be authentic in my love for the people in my life, and to do things with a full heart. 

I want my actions to be marked with an uprightness of character, not for my own glory but to the glory of Christ. It's time my life started looking more like Jesus and less like I'm over here running my own show. 

I want to finish what I start, go to the ends of the earth for people, I want to be genuine in my love. 

I'm joining in on this word of the year business because I need that reminder, I need something practically stapled to my forehead to remember it. My hope is that the practice of genuine-ity becomes over time not a practice, but just a normal way of life. That it becomes a part of me. 

I want to keep this in the forefront of my mind every day so that when I look at my life next year it will be marked by a more genuine spirit, not just marked but covered. 

Join me, friends, as I start on this journey.

Friday

Well, life is moving 500 miles an hour again. Ever since Seth and I got home from our honeymoon its been madness.

Going back to school. Going back to work. Picking up Penelope. Going to different family functions. Going to Sharks games. Watching Sharks games. Cleaning the house. Both Seth and I getting sick. Searching for....(well I'll tell you about that later)

Want to know something awesome though?

For the past three weeks though, I've managed to pick up my Bible and read for almost 30 minutes every day. I can't tell you I've had any revelation or special moment where I heard the voice of Jesus. But a sense of peace during this madness is something I'm not used to. 

I'm used to worrying, being anxious, being stressed, being easily annoyed by anyone and everything. 

Yet peace is what I feel. 

What's funny is I'm not forcing myself to pick up my Bible, it feels natural...and that is an honest first. And that's the first time I've admitted that picking up my Bible to read everyday wasn't natural. 

I've been starting with a short devotional from "Jesus Calling". I know to some people its a little strange to be reading something that is seemingly from the mouth of Jesus. But once you get past the weirdness and into the message there something neat about having the voice of Jesus stuck in your head. Not just the words of Jesus, but His voice. 

After a frustrating day at work I was yelling in my head on my drive home, "I'M ONLY HUMAN"...the next mornings devotional started with the phrase, "It's ok to be human". What the what?! God's voice was almost audible at that point, it amazed me that after all this time without consistency in any part of my walk He was faithful to hear me. He is faithful when I am not. He is good when I am not. These words constantly ring in my head these days. 

In other happenings..

I've been watching too much TV on my downtime at work. Nashville in particular. I'm obsessed! The music, the drama...oh, it's just so good.

Seth and I have been trying to get into Game of Thrones as well. Call me crazy..but there is too much sex, and way too much blood. I don't even want to know how much fake blood they have to use per episode..it must be GALLONS. Seth of course thinks the violence is awesome. So we keep trekking though the episode DVD's as they arrive at our P.O box. 

I've been working on a crochet project that I'm really excited about.

All of those hexagons will soon turn into a blanket. I love the alternating colors and each day I'm getting better at hiding the strings!

Penelope is growing and becoming crazier by the day it seems. She is definitely a Siberian cat..she jumps a ton, she is very fast, she comes when we call her, and she snuggles by our heads at night. We are still smitten. And the little mane around her neck is growing in too!

 

Oh! I finally got my terrible hair cut fixed.I was really excited about that. It's not stringy on the ends anymore and I am one happy lady.

Also, 

We are going to the Sharks game tomorrow night, I can't wait! I haven't been to a game yet but Seth has already been to 3.

Oh, and the Superbowl?

I really wish I cared.

Even though it's the Niners I still can't bring myself to be excited.

But we are going to a party....

I'm going to bring my crochet project and see how much I can get done while not watching. 

Today we were allowed to wear our team spirit to work in celebration of the Superbowl..I chose this:

Well, that's all I got for today, folks! 

I wish you the best of Superbowl Sundays, and a Happy Weekend!

For My Heart, and Maybe Yours.

I mentioned recently that I've been avoiding scripture and any form of devotion.
That's a crazy thing to admit.
Avoiding because of scared of being reminded of my sin and all the junk that's ugly inside of me.

I picked up my devotional today that I have on my desk at work, it was bookmarked November 8th."It's freaking December, Jamie." I told myself. How long am I going to avoid this?

Today's devotional was about seeing the light of the Lord in the darkest of places. When my heart is dark, there is always a window shining through with  His hope. Always.

Here's a little bit of hope from Streams in the Desert today:

"Sometimes the darkness in our lives is worse, because we cannot even see the web we are weaving or understand what we are doing. Therefore we are unable to see any beauty or any possible good arising from our experience. Yet if we are faithful to forge ahead and "if we do not give up" (Gal 6:9), someday we will know that the most exquisite work of our lives was done during those days when it was the darkest.  If you seem to be living in strange and mysterious ways, do not be afraid. Simply go forward in faith and in love, never doubting Him. He is watching and will bring goodness and beauty from all of your pain and tears"

The shuttles of His purpose move

To carry out His own design;

Seek not too soon to disapprove

His work, nor yet design

Dark motives, when, with silent tread,

You view some somber fold;

For lo, within each darker thread

There twines a thread of gold.

Spin cheerfully,

Not tearfully,

He knows the way you plod;

Spin Carefully,

Spin prayerfully,

But leave the thread with God.

Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer, from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. 

Psalm 61:2

3: Reflections on Marriage

Every time I talk to my dear old Dad on the phone he asks the same question:

 How is married life, is it everything you imagined?

My answer is always the same, YES!

Well, I don't yell. But it's always a yes, a good kind of yes, I never hesitate so I wonder why he asks every time still.

It's actually better than what I imagined, so much better. But I'm starting to wonder if our society has tainted marriage to the point that we assume them to fail as soon as they begin?

I hate that mindset so much. Seth and I know instinctively that divorce isn't an option, failure is not an option for us.  If divorce weren't so easy to achieve would that make people more willing to work out their problems? Maybe not so much work on their problems, but submit to the fact that they are prideful and imperfect and that they need help, humility...grace.

And by the way, I love being married. This is the best "choice" I have made in my young life and I have no shame in saying that. 

In these past 3 months of marriage I've learned that marriage has everything to do with grace and nothing to do with me. Marriage has everything to do with Jesus and His bride, the Church -- and how that beautiful relationship reflects on my own relationship with Seth.

I cling to that daily, because every day I fail. Everyday we fail. But every day we point each other to the one who can't fail.

If you can figure that part out, it's easier to navigate the ups and downs. Easier, not necessarily easy. Easier to remain humble, easier to serve, easier to submit (there I said it!), easier to love, easier to respect.

Admittedly, we haven't hit many big bumps yet. We don't have years of life experience under our belt. But we do have our good God who we know placed us together, provides for us, comforts us, and has more grace for us than we could ever provide for each other. So were running with that, were putting our eggs in that basket.

Right now my biggest advice to dating couples:
1.WAIT - and you know what I mean by that. Just...WAIT.
2.READ - read up on some good wisdom about how men communicate and receive love, it makes fights a lot easier when you understand how the other person is feeling.
3. Be humble.

Happy 3 months, Seth. I love you more than I did on that day and that is so crazy to me. 

My Cup Overflows - A Life Update

There are so many things to tell you about. Life has been filled to the brim lately, the good kind of full that makes you smile and tear up a little when you reflect back on it.

Last weekend we had our housewarming party. It was all kinds of fantastic, and it was so great to have our closest friends and family come and share in our new home. We got a lot of wine, which I could never complain about. We had some yummy food, most of which was all from Pinterest. Thanks to Jess for the awesome corn dip recipe, it went FAST. Also, Mel, these went fast -- thanks for posting these!

On Tuesdays nights we have Neighborhood Group through our new church. This group has quickly become my favorite night of the week. I have already met two super awesome ladies that I can tell will be close friends in no-time. The same goes for Seth, and we are SO thankful, so so very thankful for God answering our prayers and helping us find a church home quickly.

This week has been a doozy at work. I must admit, I'm still adjusting to the 40-hour a week schedule, it is mentally, physically, and emotionally draining but I really am loving my job. I have learned so much in the past two weeks and I am proud to tell you that I am exceeding their expectations and already have patients admitted under my name, which is huge. yay!

This week Seth and I celebrated two months of marriage, a small, small milestone but he has blessed me so much lately. He is so sweet to me and knows my heart so well, I am constantly blown away by his love for our little family.

Right now as I type he is cooking dinner, and won't tell me what, also he has served me tea, wine, chocolate, oh and he's doing the dishes. and...I just got a back massage mid-blog. seriously?

serving my socks off.

My cup literally overflows. I am resting sweetly in Psalm 23. 

Praise Jesus for a two days off of rest, I plan on doing loads and loads of laundry, and trying to catch up on life. 

How have you been?

I feel like I have missed so much in blog land.

Have you been shopping yet?

I also will be participating in a local holiday boutique, in Gilroy. I've never designed a product display..or really anything like it. I'm excited and so nervous all at once. Any recommendations or ideas on that?

Oh, Happy Friday!!

xoxo

Oh, Love That Will Not Let Me Go: In Memory

Today we are going home for a very special event.

We are spreading the ashes of my beloved grandparents Bill & Holly. 

On their 50th Wedding Anniversary in 1997

My Grandpa Bill died in 2007, and Grandma Holly in 2011, but sometimes the wounds still feel fresh. 

My Grandpa and I were very, very close -- I was his "Jayma" and he was my best friend growing up.

My Grandma was a sassy firecracker, who responded to her name with "yowza!" and when asked what she wanted prayer for on her 90th birthday..she asked for prayer for the Giants.

It's been years since the family has been together to complete their wishes and spread their ashes over a bed of roses, so tomorrow we will all be together to do so.

 I know it will finally close a page in life that has seem empty and still open over the past few years since Grandpa passed. 

The best part?

I know I will see them again.

I know they are rejoicing with their Lord as I write these words.

I know there is no more pain for either of them, and I know their legacy lives on in all of the people's lives that they touched. This past year I got an email from someone who worked in their assisted living home telling me how much she loved my Grandparents, it was such a special message.

This past year I found out about my Grandpa's family in New York, I even found out his nephew was named after him. 

I wish I could give them both a big hug, I wish they could have seen me walk down the aisle, I wish..I wish..I wish..

But knowing that something is true is always better than wishing and dreaming. So, with a heavy heart I think about and miss my grandparents every day, but with a glad one I see them shadowed in the light of Jesus.

 5 years ago God gave me a miracle, and let me speak at Grandpa's funeral and tomorrow I will share this beautiful hymn for the both of them. 

O Love that wilt not let me go,

I rest my weary soul in thee;

I give thee back the life I owe,

That in thine ocean depths its flow

May richer, fuller be.

O light that followest all my way,

I yield my flickering torch to thee;

My heart restores its borrowed ray,

That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day

May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,

I cannot close my heart to thee;

I trace the rainbow through the rain,

And feel the promise is not vain,

That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,

I dare not ask to fly from thee;

I lay in dust life’s glory dead,

And from the ground there blossoms red

Life that shall endless be.

In loving memory

Wilbur L Skaates 3.15.1921 --7.2.2007

Dora A Skaates 10.29.1920 -- 5.18.2011

A Reason to Celebrate

Last night the Giants beat the Cardinals and are headed to the World Series. 99% of the people I know are celebrating the victory, and even though I'm not a baseball fan, I must admit it's fun to see the unity that a single sport brings to such a diverse community. 

But I'm celebrating for a different reason today. 

I got the job!

I am so overjoyed. So thankful. So overwhelmed. So blessed.

Two weeks ago, Seth and I committed to doing better with finances, something I have been forever terrible at, and the next day I get called for an interview. God does really big things when you seek guidance and commit selflessly to His will. I was clearly being called out of super-spending lifestyle and needed a major wakeup call, aka no job, for me to really see reality. 

While I understand the value of hard work and dedication, I also missed the boat on learning to handle my money. So while I've watched my parents work tirelessly to provide, it never clicked for me that one day that storehouse would run out and I'd be left with no income and no savings. Reality is tough, but this new job will more than provide and for that I am so thankful.

I am learning this money management thing one day at a time, I'm committing to doing better because I have more than myself now to provide for, and that is something that will never change. I know this new job means a lot of change is about to take place. I will work every weeknight until 9pm, which isn't an easy pill to swallow but I keep reminding myself that Seth and I have all our lives to be home at dinner time with each other! 

I'm so excited for this new journey that is about to unfold! I can't wait to share more details and stories as they come!

Have a great Tuesday, and find a reason to celebrate today!

xo

Saturday's Devotion

I loved the devotion from "Jesus Calling" for today so I thought I'd share it with you! If you haven't picked up this little devotional before its sweet and an easy read for those who struggle with finding a devotion that they like!

Rest in me, my child. This time devoted to Me is meant to be peaceful, not stressful. You don't have to perform in order to receive My love. I have boundless, unconditional love for you. How it grieves Me to see My children working for love; trying harder and harder, yet never feeling good enough to be loved.

Be careful that your devotion to Me does not become another form of works. I want you to come into My presence joyfully and confidently. You have nothing to fear, for you wear My own righteousnes. Gaze into My eyes, and you will see no condemnation, only Love and delight in the one I see. Be blessed as My face shines radiantly upon you, giving you peace.

John 15:13; Zephaniah 3:17; Numbers 6:25-26

Have a fantastic weekend!!

Thankful

I've done a lot of ranting, raging, and complaining lately. 

I could sit here and blame the wedding stuff, but I also need to fess up and tell you that my attitude has been rather negative.

I guess that's what happens when you put other priorities before the Lord, every single time it knocks me down and He gently picks me back up and puts me back on track.

"This saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life."

1 Timothy 1:15-16

Today, I am thankful for many things, maybe so many because I haven't stopped to think in a while how blessed I really am. 

Church family

Encouraging friends

Friends that are always willing to help

Friends that bring you wine when you are overwhelmed

Parents who provide

Family that is wacky (not always a bad thing)

Childhood memories recalled

Fiancee's that will do anything to make you smile and surprise you with a HUGE bowl of frozen yogurt

Generous In-laws

Creative friends that help with last minute decorations

And now for the list of inanimate objects:

Super cute coffee mugs

Non-chewed up nails

Comfortable childhood beds

Early morning puppy snuggles

This practice is so easy, and instantly fixes my mood. As the next two weeks get crazier than ever before, I want to practice thankfulness every day!!

Also, 13 days. That is CRAY-ZAY.

Because Jesus is Better than the Dreamiest Dream.

Is it really Friday already?

I can't believe how fast time flies these days. 

Today is 28 days..I will marry my best friend in 28 days.

Holy freakin' moly.

Oh my freakin' goodness.

Me oh my.

This journey of engagement has certainly been wild.  All of the stresses I expected, did not come to pass. And all of the things I thought wouldn't cause problems, have caused major problems. 

But God has been SO good through this entire process. God is always good, so maybe I'm just particularly aware of it these days. 

His faithfulness to me, when I honestly would rather have been planning than submitting to Him, blows my mind. 

Things that have been prayed over for 4 years, are coming to fruition, even when I had given up. Our church has surrounded us with love, support, and kindness -- which has been such a gift that we will be forever grateful for. And honestly, I am learning more about marriage, friendship, and His grace than I have learned ever before. 

And Seth and I are unbelievably happy. Isn't that just so mushy and awesome?

I know, this is just the post you wanted to read today..but more than anything, I want to expound on how awesome HE is. 

I am reminded these days especially, that Jesus is so much better than my dream wedding. So much better than the dreamiest wedding I could dream. Better than any perfectly romantic craft, better than the prettiest ceremony.

Better than my marriage, altogether.

While a hurricane of wedding crap blows around my head every day, I am at peace and oddly calm because I know my God is with me. I know the end result...in 28 days I get to be married and that is ALL that matters.  He has taught me to let go of the things that won't matter after the wedding, which is primarily the things that cause the most drama. 

He has taught me to care about the things that will last after the wedding day; primarily my relationship with Christ, which in turn has taught me about what being a wife is all about. 

I am so thankful, so grateful, so overwhelmed with Him yet so at peace in His presence. 

Seth and I's prayer for these last 28 days is simple: May this time glorify HIM. May this marriage be pleasing to HIM. Amen, and amen. 

22: A Birthday Post

5 years ago I was...

Turning 17. 

Thinking about college. 

Just had met Seth.

A senior in High School.

Wanting independence.

A baby.

SO much has happened since then. And I know I will experience the same kind of change in the next 5 years to come. 

Today as I turn 22:

I am . . .

A soon to be wifey.

A church planter.

A crafty shop owner.
A bookworm, wannabe historian, and a collector.

I want . . .

A hot yoga membership.

An endless supply of buttons.

A house on the beach.

Smaller feet.

I have . . .

A man who adores me.

Friends that spoil me.

Family that supports me.

A Savior who died for me.

I hate . . .

Olives

Cheese.

Open water.

Loud noises.
Bugs.
Bra straps that show.
The list goes on..

I wonder . . .

about life in the future. Friendships, church, jobs..

I regret . . .

Harsh words;

that I can't ever take back.

I need . . .

Lots of reassuring.

Frequent date nights.

Patience.

Coffee every morning.
Coke Zero.

I never . . .

want to plan a wedding again. amen.

I am not . . .

Brave.

Adventurous.
Spontaneous.

I rarely . . .

Swear;

I try my hardest not to let emotions cause me to say ugly things.

Wear socks;
they always get in my way!

I always . . .

Feel like I'm not doing enough; 

feelings of inadequacy run deep.
BUT.
I always know the love of Jesus surrounds me,
and that my adequacy cannot be defined by the world.

I wish . . .

The weekends were longer and the working week shorter.

That pre-wedding bliss could last forever.
That gas was free.
That girls weren't dramatic.
That bugs didn't exist. 

I love . . .

Fresh laundry

White tee-shirts

Buttons.

Puzzles.
Winnie the Pooh.

I am...22! 

Monday Blues

Anyone having a case of the Monday's like me?

A little tired. A little discouraged. A little burnt out.

I found this encouragement over at Take Heart today..

The free printables on Danielle's blog definitely brightened my gloomy Monday!

"But He gives more grace"

James 4:6

Almost home.

Month of insanity is almost over.

Last night I got home from camp and I am currently avoiding packing for Wisconsin this afternoon. 

Camp was so many awesome things. It was wild, fun, a tad dangerous, critter-full, and messy. Yesterday afternoon I was sad to leave, this feeling I did NOT think I would have. As their leader, I was beyond exhausted and burnt out on junior highers but my heart sank as I walked away.

Heres a few favorites from the week:

God answered prayers this week, of this I am sure. 

The neat thing was, almost all of my girls believed in Jesus and knew the basics so all week long they begged for more information. They wanted to sing more songs about Jesus, they were writing poems about Him in their free time, they were asking deep questions -- they were blowing my expectations out of the water.

Thank you for praying. Thank you SO much. I am confident that God is working in each of their lives in His own special way and timing.

I'll be back Sunday...finally. Can't wait to go through my almost 300 unread blog posts!

A Place to Land

Last month I told you how Seth and I's plans to move to Sacramento had fallen through.

We had been planning for almost a year to move there. We were both excited about living in a new place, close to Tahoe, close to fun activities, close to friends...and then it all vanished right before our eyes. The thing about trusting God, is that He always has what's best in mind, so we prayed and sought out the next step which has lead us to Gilroy.

You wouldn't believe the looks we get when we say Gilroy. I try and soften the blow with Morgan Hill -- but still, people try and convince me that its the armpit of California, and to be honest, I know it is.

The thing about following a dream, is that you don't always get to pick and choose where you end up -- and sometimes you have to end up in the armpit. That's straight wisdom, y'all.

Sometimes you have to go to the last place you thought you'd end up. Sometimes you have to live in a 400ft cottage instead of a 2 bedroom apartment. I certainly didn't think that as newlyweds we'd live a glamorous lifestyle anyways. 

But when we started praying about this direction last month, instead of just assuming that God was going along with our grand plan, there was peace and relief knowing that in His timing there would be an answer.  We I were patient and waited on the Lord, and He provided in our chaos and confusion. It took SO much strength for me to not go crazy researching schools apartments and jobs within minutes of finding out about Sacramento. It took even more strength for me to try and NOT control the situation, I am really good and wanting control -- trust me, I'm workin' on it folks.

And as of today we found a school, and as of today he is registered. HALLELUJAH!

We are moving to Morgan Hill/Hollister/Gilroy area. Please don't judge and tell me it's ghetto.

I'm pretty sure we can handle ghetto. We know it's not forever. And let's look at the bright side:

Seth will be close to the dirt-biking trails -- which means he will make me learn, which means he will be endlessly happy. Endlessly happy sounds pretty nice.

It turns out that trusting God with your big decisions in life is a pretty good idea, if you didn't already know that. 

And now my dreams of nesting, decorating, and house-making can really begin.

Happy Thursday

 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

James 1:2-4 

I had a fantastic end to a terrible week.  It helped to start today with James 1. It helped to end my day with a good friend on a hike.

That is all. 

Proverbs 16:9

I'm a planner. It's my way of coping, my way of living an anxiety free life. 

When my plans go awry I get consumed with worry, doubt, and fear. Fear of the unknown, worrying about uncertain futures, and doubtful that things are going to all turn out ok. 

I lived trapped somewhere in between a spontaneous and completely controlled life. The balance keeps me sane...but it traps me to the point where one step in either direction makes me crazy. 

I suppose you'd like to know why I'm telling you all of this. 

My plans went awry. Our plans went awry. 

Not just little plans, but big life changing plans like moving  away for college and starting our new life. The big plan that has been guiding our decision making for the past year. 

The story goes like this:

The one and only prerequisite class Seth has to take in order for him to take ALL other classes is full for the summer and won't be available until next summer.  And when I tried to get help from the administration in his department about the issue I pretty much got treated like Harry Potter in Umbridge's office. Totally helpless, no loophole, no way around it, and not to mention blamed for the problem at hand.

"Better luck next year" - The Man's words still cut like a knife.

We've only got a few options if the school in Sacramento doesn't work out...

a. We move to Sacramento - build a life and work full time and wait for Seth to get into the class he needs.

b. We move to SoCal or Out of State where there is another program for ATC.

c. We stay in the Bay Area...eventually still having to move for school though.

Slim pickins' right?

I could sit here and tell you what a sham the California Community College system is. I would tell you about the budget cuts and the class sizes and our great big plans to start a new life in Sacramento, and how in 5 days a tiny little class filled up ruining his chances of getting in. 

I could shake my fist and yell at God for ruining "The Master Plan"...Because of course, I always have it all figured out much better than He does. 

But a verse that I am only vaguely familiar with flashed like lightning in my brain only seconds after finding out the predicament. 

Proverbs 16:9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

Sweet relief. Oh how sweet are the Father's words. 

Our plans wither away at His throne. Our feet walk in the direction that He designs and He goes before us as our guide. 

And that brings more peace of mind than any 5-year-plan could accomplish.

I may not have complete peace in this moment (just being honest) -- but I know it's coming. I know that in His timing we will be taken care of and have a place to land on September 8th. 

Seth and I trust God's plan for us, even though we don't know all the details. And I continually (need to) trust that God's plans are far better than my own. 

In years to come, we will look back on this event as a blip on the radar. 

Until then, I'll be memorizing this verse in every translation I can get my hands on.

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