Monday, November 11, 2013

The Wall.

I've hit that infamous pregnancy wall.
I'm 37 weeks and 2 days pregnant. 19 days to go. 19 days feels like a lifetime.
The wall where I am so done with being pregnant, yet still have so much to do before he gets here.
So much to do but no energy or desire to actually do it.
I was thinking of making a list, but that might make it worse...so I'll jut rant for you today.

I posted this the other day..it describes what's going on perfectly.


I just called Merry Maid service, they are going to come and give me an estimate of how much it would cost to deep clean our place before baby gets here. I won't even pick up large chunks of food if they fall on the ground, let alone vacuum or scrub or wipe anything at this point.

Last night I had the strangest series of dreams..it included a squirrel infestation, a rocket ship suburban air plane, and my friend suggesting that I pee directly onto my baby to help him be soothed.

The baby's crib is filled with junk, but I'm afraid if I take it out Penelope will try to hop inside and sleep there. Another thing looming over my head with her is the need to train her to stay out of our bedroom. As gentle as she will likely be with the baby, the fact that she likes to sleep on top of me and Seth at night means she will likely try to do the same thing to Felix.

The hospital bag is barely packed -- I think because in the back of my mind we will 1)be in labor at home as long as humanly possible and 2)not wanting to stay 48 hours after because it costs $500/day to do so. But I know it's still necessary because we should always expect the unexpected.

I know I should be walking more to get this show on the road...but pants, shoes, and walking are all things that take way too much energy to do at this point. My back aches like none other and the effort it takes to consciously NOT waddle is a lot. I noticed that because of the pain I'm arching my back when I walk which is probably making it worse. My belly is so big that pants don't fit and everything cuts into the lowest part of my bump. My feet swell and lose feeling all the time. I know pregnancy is not designed to be fun but dang I want my body back already!!

Getting up from sitting down, or getting out of a car, or really doing anything that requires me to move takes an incredible amount of effort. If I lay too far back on the couch I get out of breath because of the pressure on my lungs.

I'm also on a true emotional roller coaster.
Saturday I cried about a rock song I couldn't handle any more of.
Yesterday I cried about a sandwich.
I really wonder what today holds. Maybe crying over a q-tip? a piece of lint? a fork?

I have many things to look forward to though, so I will stop my ranting and complaining and rejoice in the little things.

My sweet husband asked me on a date this week, which I am so excited for. I think we are going to Monterey for an evening. Hubba hubba.

My shop sales are doing really well -- I appreciate all of your guys' support. It is truly helping our family out a lot in this time.

We've been doing lots of preparation the past couple weeks in the form of classes and carseat installation. I think this is as ready as we will ever be.



Thanksgiving and Christmas are fast approaching -- my two favorite holidays. I can't believe we're going to have a baby by Christmas, that just sounds so crazy to me. And since I'm due around Thanksgiving and likely will not get to decorate for Christmas at that point -- that means I get to start decorating NOW!

All discomforts aside, I feel incredibly blessed to have a supportive family, an amazing husband, a healthy baby thats still growing, and a gracious God who gives generously without looking at my sin. I have so much to be thankful for and will keep reminding myself of that on the hard days.

2 comments:

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  2. Hey Jamie! This is Lauren Door, sorry about the comment above. I realized when I submitted it that you would have no idea who sent it. Just noticed you're worried about your cat getting in the crib. Some people I've known who have had babies and cats get a crib tent. Might be the perfect solution! Congrats on the baby :)

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