Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Some Tough Stuff.

On Sunday night we got some tough news.
Our landlord is selling the property that we live on.
And we have to be gone by September 30th.
We are moving.

I will be 31 weeks pregnant.
Seth will be back in school.
Neither of us will be working full time -- we don't have the time, energy, or money to move right now.

It's funny, the sense of humor God has in this.
I was literally thinking on Sunday afternoon about how content I was.
Happy with where we were at.
Happy with what God had brought us through - almost like He was rewarding us for getting through the first year of marriage with our heads still screwed on straight.
I will never allow myself to have that thought again if this is what comes next.

We L-O-V-E where we live. It is the perfect place for us right now, and it has been one of the greatest blessings in this past year. It fell into our laps, too. Friend of the family rents it out for cheap. Rent includes ALL utilities, internet, and cable. Comparable places in the area cost at least $500 more per month without utilities.
This place is our home. We have made it our home in the past year and now it just feels like we're being robbed. Even though it was month to month and this could have happened at any time I feel like I never saw it coming.
The reality is that Seth will be in school in Gilroy until May 2014. We can't really sign a 1-year lease knowing he might get a job in a different part of the state after he graduates.

The rest of the night was spent mostly in silence.
I discouragedly looked through the listings on Craigslist that match our criteria. There are 3 listings total that match - and two of them are senior housing. The other, well it's in the mountains 30 minutes from the closest town.
Seth and I looking at each other with blank stares. Scrolling through Facebook posts just to avoid reality. Attempting to watch our favorite comedy show and not even being able to laugh.

We're still at a loss.
We need prayer. We need help.
I'm having trouble not being mad at God. I trust Him provide but I'm scared. I feel helpless. I don't like the unknown. The unknown was a lot less scary when we didn't have bills to pay and a baby on the way. I feel like screaming, "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?"
We have less than 2 months to pick up and move all of our things. Not to mention make room for a baby.
I just started planning the babies area. What I was going to put on the wall, and the mini crib that would fit so perfectly in the space -- I feel like every single plan I have made or put into my head must now be put on hold.
I will be taking lots of pictures - making sure we always remember this place we have called home for the past year. Pictures of how we've grown into this place, rearranged it to make it extra homey - extra us.

We have no idea where we're going to live.
I will promise to look on the bright side. I will look forward to all the things that are possible in a new home...how it might bring us a:
kitchen cabinets
closet that we don't have to bend over in
bedroom with a door
carpet (having all hard wood floors has me dreaming about sweet sweet carpet)

I'll move on. We will get through this.
Just writing this all out has helped me to process already.
I will do my best to enjoy the three vacations I have planned in the next month...because that is honestly the only thing I can possibly look forward to right now.

Pray for us as we work through this challenging season of life.
Pray that we trust God's plan.
Pray that we cling to Him first, and to each other second.
Force me to say yes when help is offered.
Help me not be discouraged.

1 comment:

  1. What a hard thing. I'll be praying for y'all as you figure this out. It's nice sometimes though to know God's never surprised- at least that helps me even when I'm yelling at Him. :-P